First step in the new journey of my life on India’s independence day :D!! Any better way to celebrate? ?? ??
18 th century – “A girl child? Are you serious? Kill her right away”
21 st century – “Women are not paid the same salary as men. This is a violation of gender equality”
This transition has taken generations to come about. But, has true equality been achieved? Do men treat women as equals? Oh wait! Before that, I have to ask another question. Do women treat themselves equal to men? I don’t think everyone does. Deep inside some girls’ mind there is this thought – “I don’t think I can do this; it is something for boys.”
DON’T BE A MISOGYNIST YOURSELF AND DEMAND GENDER EQUALITY
People often complain: “Women are not treated equal to men. The society needs to change, the politicians should do something, the Government should do something.” Stop right there! Why can’t you do something? Why can’t you first be the change you want to see? Why should someone else do it? Girls might often say: “I have been brought up this way. I want to make a change but I am too scared to voice my opinion. I am afraid my parents won’t understand me and it would be difficult to fight against them”. There is either a way or an excuse. Pick one and take responsibility for it.
Quoting below one of the most common conversations among two people, X and Y.
X – a girl’s parent
Y – any random person
X: My daughter lives as she pleases. She doesn’t follow the tradition or culture. She is not interested to learn cooking or household chores. I am afraid as to what she would do after marriage, what her in-laws might think about her. Added to this, she also wants to study more, travel more and live according to her wish. The more she studies, the more difficult it is to find a match for her. How can she, a girl, live as she thinks? She must learn to adjust and tolerate. This is of utmost necessity for a girl. She has to put her dreams second and family first. Else, she would have a tough time at her in-laws’ house. At the end of the day, a girl is a girl.
Y: She wants to study more? You must be joking. Better get her married before that. She is a girl. Girls become independent with more education that they want to delay getting married. She is in her 20s which is already late. If you don’t get her married, the society will think of you as irresponsible parents. Also after her marriage, your burden would be reduced and you can be free.
Now I see this Y as an utterly jobless person, who doesn’t know what he/she is doing with life but trying to sound smart and have a conversation, but doesn’t have something productive as a conversational piece and so randomly bringing this topic just to pass time by having a heated conversation. Doesn’t this bullshit put a pressure on parents and transitively on their children? And those children, most often than not, don’t they yield to this pressure? To all those who yield to this pressure, I have a question for you: “Are you going to forget your dreams for this fool? Is this jobless person going to be with you for the rest of your lives? Are you going to let some random person decide when you want to get married or who you want to get married to? Are you going to let him/her control your life? Are you going to lose your identity? This crappy comment of Y hurts you now and affects your major life decisions, but ultimately isn’t it you who is going to live your life?” Something to think about.
In the past history of marriages, especially in India, I have seen the bride’s parents being highly submissive to groom’s parents. “Can I do this? Will they like it? What if they don’t like it? Should I give them more gifts? Should I buy something more expensive? I do not have money, but I can borrow. After all, it is their happiness that is important. I can repay debts later.” What the hell? The Dowry Prohibition Act has been voided. Parents of a boy and a girl are submissive during their daughter’s marriage but are pompous and arrogant during their son’s marriage. Before I forget, isn’t marriage a symbol of the love that two people share for each other and that they are ready to be there for each other throughout their lives? To all those who justify early marriage quoting biological reasons: “Do you want to marry just for the sake of growing the family? Isn’t that shallow?” Also, I realize that “sharing lives (in a marriage)” mean, sharing responsibilities as well. So, question for every married female out there: “Why do you do most of the cooking and take care of the household all by yourself? Why this particular responsibility never gets shared with your partner?” Are you going to justify this by saying: “Women are a personification of care, symbol of love?” Cut this crap. Men do care and have emotions. Also, symbol of love and care doesn’t mean the same as having all of the household work. STOP AND RETHINK. Children observe parents’ behavior. And it means something to them. At a younger age, the grasping ability is sky heights. And this kind of thought is what you want to implant in your kids?
I would like to leave you with one last question: “Do you want to be an average Joe: follow the norm, face no struggle, yield to peer pressure, live like a robot and grow your family, never realizing the purpose of life or do you want to have a meaning for your existence and at least try to accomplish the purpose of your life?”
3 thoughts on “”
Great post. This felt like reading a page from my diary. I personally heard a lot of conversations of this kind, but I feel like the society is shifting these days and are supporting women. This takes time though. I’ve seen my friends (women) who pursued their dreams and also the ones who got married at an early age as their parents wanted. This is because our parent’s generation was brought up that way and it will take some time to inculcate the idea of equality.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah! Changing the previous generation is pretty difficult but current generation of parents should not be the same like them!
Good start, the concept of life outside the tradition of marriage is becoming more acceptable. I believe in the concept of right to choice. The choice of being married or not married should be decided by the girl. Whether the girl is being liberal or not should be dependent on how the girl came to that conclusion. Did the society and parental pressure push that choice or did that choice came from passion of being with one self. Hopefully we are moving towards ones own choice.
LikeLiked by 1 person